Entitled cousin expects software engineer relative to drop their Christmas Day plans and set up two new PCs he purchased for his daughters: ‘I haven't joined them for Christmas since’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jun 12, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Listen, it doesn't take a village to set up a personal computer. Though it might require some exceptional attention to detail and manual reading, getting your tech setup situated doesn't require the free labor of your well-informed tech-savvy family member. Yes, even on holidays. Some of us would prefer to join in on the holiday festivities instead of being banished to work for free for some entitled family members.

In a perfect world, we'd never rely on others to do our personal bidding. We'd know everything, in detail, and never worry about asking others for help. This is not to say that asking for help is inherently wrong, but asking for help repeatedly at the most inconvenient times gets old really fast.

In this next story, an entitled cousin calls his software engineer relative on Christmas Day in hopes that they'll be available to set up his daughters' PCs he gifted them for Christmas. This tech-savvy relative didn't even receive a "Merry Christmas!" What do you think their answer was?

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  • Obviously, they declined. In what world would someone get up and leave their partner's Christmas Day festivities to do free labor on a holiday meant for togetherness?

  • "But we need you! I just bought two new PCs for my daughters and you have to set them up.""
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "When ‘Family Time’ Became ‘Free IT Work’ on Christmas"

    Hi all! First-time poster here. This actually happened a couple of years ago.
    via ubiquitousSethlans
  • A bit of context first: I'm a software engineer in a family of people who aren't very tech- savvy, so I usually end up helping them with their computers,
    via ubiquitousSethlans
  • smartphones, and other gadgets. We used to spend Christmas at my uncle and aunt's house, and in recent years, the trend was
    via ubiquitousSethlans
  • that people would gift phones or computers to their loved ones— and I'd be the one expected to set them up on Christmas Day.
    via ubiquitousSethlans
  • At first, I didn't mind. It was usually a quick task. But one year, my uncle asked me to move his entire desktop and office setup from one room to another,
    via ubiquitousSethlans
  • set up new cables, and update all his software and operating system. This annoyed me because while everyone else was enjoying Christmas, I was basically working.
    via ubiquitousSethlans
  • The next year, I decided to spend Christmas with my new girlfriend. We had just started dating, things were going well, and honestly, I didn't want to be the free family IT guy again.
    via ubiquitousSethlans
  • At some point that day, I got a phone call from my cousin. He didn't greet me or even wish me a Merry Christmas-just straight-
    via ubiquitousSethlans
  • up asked why I wasn't at the family lunch. I told him I was spending the day with my girlfriend and wouldn't be joining them this year.
    via ubiquitousSethlans
  • Cheezburger Image 10516082944
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • In an annoyed tone, he replied: "But we need you! I just bought two new PCs for my daughters and you have to set them up."
    via ubiquitousSethlans
  • That really ped me off, but I kept my cool. I just said, "Yeah... Merry Christmas to you too," and hung up.
    via ubiquitousSethlans
  • He never called me again after that, and I haven't joined them for Christmas since-because I honestly don't want to work for free anymore.
    via ubiquitousSethlans
  • bill-schick wow, your cousin is so trashy for demanding that.
    via bill-schick
  • ubiquitousSethlans Yeah, we have like 20 years difference (he is older) and when I was kind and he was young everything was fine. But when I was a teenager things were different. He was an adult and he was not considering me and my brother anymore. So the "adults" spent the whole Xmas day eating and drinking while I was bored doing nothing and watching TV. Then as soon as I started being good with computers, I was again welcome because I became useful
    via ubiquitousSethlans
  • redditexplorer787 Great comeback! It's just unfortunate that you have to avoid family get togethers because of that. Some other lines you could say are "sorry I'm not working during the holidays" or "I charge OT if I'm working on holiday" or "Are you working on holiday?, well neither do l"
    via redditexplorer787
  • Cfwydirk Why do people act that way? Because people let them get away with it. Good on you for not letting the user's use you. Bravo!
    via Cfwydirk
  • CatMom8787 If they ever ask again, tell them, "Since it's a holiday, I'll give you the family discount. My fee to do anything IT related is $ X. I'm sure you understand."
    via CatMom8787
  • XemptOne This is why you never let family know what you are good at
    via XemptOne
  • Melphor I get that. My go-to is to say "sure, let me show you how to do that", and I walk the family member through how to do it themselves. It shuts down those family members who just want free labor.
    via Melphor

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christmas family dynamics family drama entitled parents entitlement software reddit story family feud IT employee parenting entitled family reddit thread parent Reddit Parenting Fail parents entitled people Parenting FAILS
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